Lost In Care
I was eight-years-old when I first went into care.
It was bound to happen sooner or later as my mum was a heavy drinker, self-abuser and a single mother. Dad (if I can call him that) left me and my mum – and my whole family for that matter – when I was only a baby, but I can't say I don't still love my mum.
I originally lived in the Isle Of Man with my mum and she always had help from my nan and granddad who have supported us through everything we've been through (don't know where we would be without their support) before actually moving to Cardiff.
I was taken away from my mum by police then put into foster care. I first lived with my old headteacher by Roath Park. It was kind of fun there but obviously I would rather have been living with my mum.
I then moved on to live with my best friend. It was meant to only be for a week but turned out to be the best part of a year. Then eventually I moved to the place I’m living at the moment, and have been there since 2004 – so six years now.
I’m really happy here but I would still rather be living with my mum. Through my six years I have had quite a difficult time: I remember crying myself to sleep night after night because of how much I missed my mum. Then she went into hospital (drunk, overdosed and had a fit); when I went to see her she didn't seem the same, she promised to stop drinking as much as she used to, and she kept to that promise… for a while.
I never cried so much as when a letter came from her, telling me: "I’m in a place where you won't be able to see me at the moment, but remember I'll always love you." When she phoned me to explain she said she was in a recovery hospital, but this was a lie as she didn’t want me getting upset. She had actually got drunk, been arrested and ended up in a women’s prison miles outside of Cardiff (somewhere near England).
After she came out things started clearing up. I was allowed to see her a lot more until the drinking started up again, followed by the self-abuse: she even jumped out of a window to try and end it all. She failed and broke her foot; someone told me she managed to drop a wardrobe on her foot and there was me – a young gullible boy – believing everything I was told.
I have meetings every couple of months with my foster carer, mum, and social workers to sort out things that I want to happen. I tried to see if I could live with her again. “No,” they keep saying, if I go back to her she will be taken to court and put in prison but I can't have that again, so here I am still in care waiting for the day I could possibly live with my mum again. But more and more I think: “Will that day ever come?”
To be told that I can't live with my mum because it's not safe just gets me really upset. I mean I trust my mum and love my mum more than anything but getting told that feels like a total heartbreak. I used to lock myself in the bathroom, so nobody could get in, and just cry. Yes, it is very hard in care but it's something I've just got to live with.
I've got support whenever I need it from social workers, my foster carer and foster family, friends, teachers and also my mum still helps me through a lot. I’m able to talk to her any time I want. Although it's not the same as living with her, I'll still be able to live through it.
My mum is fighting to get me back but it's the drink holding her back. She's tried taking the tablets you use that stop you from drinking but if you do have a drink with them you get really ill – she drank after taking a tablet and was rushed to hospital, but at least she's still with me today.
My mum phoned me up one night and told me she was leaving to go home (Isle Of Man) so I dropped the phone, ran upstairs and cried as hard as I could. Without my mum with me I don’t know what would happen; I really need her to support me like she does. My foster mum picked up the phone and spoke to her then came upstairs and gave me a cuddle. We had a chat which cheered me up a bit as she told me my mum was not leaving. Mum was drunk when she spoke to me, but I won't forget how much I cried that night.
I don't know what to do anymore to be honest. I haven't seen my family for years, and my mum is still a heavy drinker at the moment, and although I’ve got my foster family to support me I still don't know what to do. I still remember that day the police came in and took me away from my mum. I still get really upset over it now but that’s my life I suppose and I’ve just got to get on with it. But as long as I have my mum here, then nothing’s going to bring me down!
So that’s my life and at the moment I’m still in care and will be for another two years so I’m sure I will be able to get through these last few years and I’m still dreaming of the day I'll be able to be with my mum again.
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2 Comments – Post a comment
kelleee
Commented 19 months ago - 22nd June 2010 - 13:02pm
your story is so sad ): i really hope that things work out for you and that you can be with your mum soon.
sarah x
Commented 19 months ago - 22nd June 2010 - 13:04pm
All I can say to you is that you sound like a really inspriational young man! Your story was really inspairational- you seem to have remaind postive even after what you have been through. I hope you have a fantastic last few years in care and really do wish you and your mum the best of luck with working things out in the future! Good luck (: